The Ruby Necklace
(a story set in Victorian times)
You could feel the silence in the lane on that winter morning ; the cold, the wind, the silence, it all came together. And then a carriage whirled past and you felt it whirling past! Frederika felt it! She felt the carriage beside her on this cold winter morning. She felt too the flight of this carriage for the 'flight of the carriage' was like an object, an exterior object. Yes it was a real object, flying and racing forward over the cobbles!
And then outside the town was the house where she was to take her new position as a maid ; It was a position she was taking up with indifference. Jackson had told her about a job as a maid. He wanted her to work as a maid for the Denbys and she accepted this. For she owed Jackson money and it was the only way to pay off her debt. And Jackson was a friend as well. Actually he was a friend above all to many of the women who fell on hard times. She was one of his girls and anyway she couldn't afford to reject opportunities; Opportunities to earn money, opportunities for shelter and food. She couldn't take these for granted any more.
As she thought about all this, looking too at the carriage in the distance, she began to feel bitter. Was the carriage going to the Denbys' house? Perhaps so, she thought, and maybe she too would ride in a carriage like this one day! She would fulfil her duty to Jackson. She would pay off the debt. But suddenly a vague thought began to take hold of her. Yes she owed him money but she felt suddenly that there was a real opportunity for her to earn more than what she owed him and become free, start a new life.
There was something strange and interesting about this new position as a maid. Jackson seemed to know the Denbys. Maybe he wanted her to work as a sort of spy. Maybe Jackson would ask her to steal all the bronze and silver she could lay her hands on! Oh it was a dark world that Jackson lived in but it was now her own world and she did what Jackson wanted. She had to!
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Mrs Denby looked at Frederika polishing the silver and smiled to herself. She wasn't asking herself why a girl like Frederika was here. For she knew girls like Frederika had to earn a living! She felt too that Frederika was a city girl; a city girl in the country. But she observed something strange about this girl, this girl of twenty or so years of age. There was a carelessness about her but there was also a strange meticulousness as well; something like this!
Then Mrs Denby looked again at this girl. Yes Frederika would work mainly in the kitchen but she would have access to the drawers, her own bedroom and then all the secrets of the house. However Mrs Denby didn't think about this for long. It was not a problem! She had no real secrets anyway. She looked again at Frederika but turned away suddenly. For Mrs Denby didn't like to think about things for long and in this way she was similar to Frederika.
Then Mrs Denby turned and went into the sitting room and sat down in a deep armchair near the window. Frederika entered and glanced at her.
'Sorry, Ma'am, I'm polishing the silver', she said. Mrs Denby didn't answer. She turned to look out of the window and then turned back to the new maid.
'I'm going to the city this afternoon’, Mrs Denby said suddenly, 'You belong to the city, don't you? '.
Frederika turned. She felt an excitement rush in her; yes the memory of the city and that life! But why did Mrs Denby address her like this? Frederika looked directly at Mrs Denby and almost into her eyes. She saw the young flesh of Mrs Denby but still she was probably about thirty because there was a maturity and confidence about the lady. She had dark hair and sharp fearful eyes. Then Mrs Denby said suddenly:
'Don't look at me like that. I address you, you turn and address me properly, address me, address me properly', Mrs Denby repeated almost angrily but Frederika felt there was nothing personal about this verbal attack.
She could have said this to anyone. Mrs Denby continued to sit still in the armchair as Frederika tried to concentrate on polishing the silver. There was an uncomfortable silence as Frederika felt the woman was watching her. Still maybe the woman was just looking out of the window and that was what Mrs Denby was doing. Then Mrs Denby rose suddenly and left the room.
Later Frederika asked the other servant about the mistress. For there were only three servants and one worked part-time. Yes the mistress can be tempestuous and you'd be best to keep on her side, they said. The master is away but when he's away, his wife is in charge. Still she fears her husband in some way and this fear seems to be taking control of her, they said. I can see it myself, she is a woman of contradictions, Miss, if you will, a woman of contradictions, the said.
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'Sir, how long do you want me to stay with the Denbys ?', Frederika asked Jackson who sat across from her in the coffee house. Jackson looked out of the window and then turned and glanced quickly at the girl.
'So long, Freddie as you replace the mistress’s ruby necklace', he said carelessly. Freddie listened but what he said didn’t surprise her. So there was something criminal about this whole adventure. Freddie knew that Jackson would ask her to steal something so she was quiet now. And she didn’t ask a question as Jackson looked at her again. Jackson was about thirty too. He was a sharp, eager man and he looked closely at the girl. Above all she was a friend and he wanted to talk to her on equal terms. She owed him for help he had given but really he could have forgiven the debt because there was a kindness and honour about him also.
Then Jackson sat back and tried to talk to Frederika as a confidante. He continued,
'And let time pass so that she doesn't realize that the real necklace is gone and then Freddie you can leave the position if you want', he answered as he fingered his hat beside him. They were silent again and then Freddie spoke:
‘Is it in her drawer and you want me to replace it with a fake ..or just steal it?’
Jackson answered quickly:
‘Yes, but I’ll tell you about what you have to do.’ Then he said suddenly:
'Have you spoken to Mrs Denby?'
'Yes, Sir, I have', Frederika answered carefully. She was always careful in her words with Jackson. It was out of a mixture of fear and a peculiar kind of respect for him. Then Jackson seemed to become interested.
'Do you know who she is?', he asked.
Frederika wondered quickly why he asked this. There was suddenly something strange and mysterious about everything. The sun began to stream into the cafe but she could still see Jackson clearly as she looked quickly into his eyes.
'What do you mean?', Frederika asked.
'I mean, dear Freddie, what is she like? What are her weaknesses, have you seen the necklace?'
'Of course not, you only told me about it now. I only know now what I have to do', Frederika spoke spontaneously and without fear. There was something strong about the girl and Jackson respected this. It was one of the reasons that he gave her this job of stealing the ruby necklace.
'Well, dear', Jackson said, 'you will repay your debt if you replace this necklace with this false necklace and that's it', he answered as he pawed the fake necklace in his hand. Then he put it in his pocket and rose from his seat.
'I will give you the fake necklace when I think it is time', he said looking down at Frederika. Then he left her. Frederika stayed in the seat for some minutes after he left. Then she rose and walked to the station.
Frederika got the train down to the country town, which was an hour from the city. She sat in a carriage alone and remembered her aunt in Australia. If she could, she would take this ruby necklace and go to Australia! Just go! There was nothing stopping her. What was stopping her? Nothing except Jackson perhaps but he was nothing compared to the freedom in Australia, and she had no chance here either. No chance of marriage! That is if she wanted to get married! For she felt her name was stained but still she didn't really mind. This was her life but still she'd like a fresh start again. It would be nice to do something for her mother as well; do something legitimate, recognized by law and society. And maybe this ruby necklace was the answer. Oh such a jewel, it was red, she thought, beyond law and society!
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Frederika walked in the cold winter air to the local butcher's shop. She had worked with Mrs Denby for three weeks. It was peaceful around her now as she walked and the winter cold pierced her like the winter sun. For in this winter, there was sun and cold together. You felt that the weather and the atmosphere around was all a mix of sun, cold, wind.
She knew the woman in the butchers’ shop. Sometimes they talked together but still there wasn’t much to talk about! Frederika felt that the old woman was indifferent to her and Frederika got the impression too that the old woman had put her in some type; the type that would never succeed in life. Still the old woman treated her with respect like a daughter or granddaughter in some way.
'I used to want to work as a maid when I was younger', Frederika said, ‘but I left after a few months’
'But you're still young, pet', the old woman answered her.
'I'm twenty but I've been through so much. I'm paying off a debt someone and I was told about this job' she began to say. The shop was quiet and Frederika didn't know what to say to the woman. However she didn’t mind the old woman knowing some part of her life. The woman listened.
Then Frederika asked, as the woman lifted a cup of water to her lips:
'Who is Mrs Denby?'
I don’t know other than she is the wife of Henry Denby. He works in law, I believe, in the city and he’s away a lot. She seems lonely, yes a lonely woman', the woman said.
Then Frederika said suddenly, 'There are no children, are there?'
'No, why do you ask?', the woman said indifferently.
'No reason,' Frederika said quickly. She had no reason to ask the question either.
'Are they rich?', Frederika asked.
'Yes, you see the house', the woman said briefly and bluntly but then the old woman lifted her head. Frederika looked at her and was quiet. Frederika was surprised suddenly by the peace and quietness in the shop and she began to remember what Jackson had said: To get the ruby necklace, take the real one and replace it. But how would she do that?
Then in the cold air of the shop, she began to think of Mrs Denby. She had never thought of her so clearly before. But then she stopped. Mrs Denby was like a mirror, Frederika felt. And she felt strangely that there was some strange similarity between herself and the mistress of the house. Was Mrs Denby in some way herself?, she wondered but she knew the question was irrational. Or maybe more mysterious than irrational. Still they were alike in some way. But she didn't really know! For Frederika didn't really know herself. And as Frederika didn't know herself, she didn't know anyone like herself.
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Mrs Denby sat in the sitting room looking outside the window. She was not looking at the maid who was cleaning the room. As Mrs Denby gazed out of the window, Frederika looked closely at her face. She noticed then how young she was but still there was that maturity about her; her skin was pale and fresh. Suddenly Mrs Denby spoke and addressed the girl. She saw it was Frederika.
'I’m scared, Frederika'. Frederika turned and looked at her.
Mrs Denby had addressed her by her first name before. This wasn’t new but now Frederika knew that Mrs Denby wanted to know her better. She had felt in the days before that Mrs Denby wanted to talk to her and treat her as a friend. Then Mrs Denby added:
'Don't answer. I know you think I'm strange. But it's night now and you're the only one here and I feel like talking. You're fortunate because you will hear my secrets..well if I have them,' Mrs Denby now looked closely at Frederika as Frederika stopped what she was doing and tried to put herself in the position of a 'listener'. Mrs Denby continued:
'I don't have secrets but my husband, he has his lover. I know that he has one in the city. I'm so lonely and angry.. I mean Frederika.. what does he not like, what does he not like in me, Frederika.'
Frederika didn't know what to say.
'Ma'am, I don't know, Ma'am, it’s not for me to say', she said.
'Is it for you to say?', Mrs Denby smiled and then Frederika smiled.
'Oh I see you're a flirt, Frederika', she said.
Then Mrs Denby became serious and rose from her armchair.
'But my husband, he's not my husband now! I don't know why I married him, or him me. But we were in love.. I'm an actress', she turned quickly around to Frederika. 'I still am', she said histrionically. 'I like to act. and I was fortunate, you know, in marrying Henry. Not for money or anything'.
Frederique looked directly at her.
'Oh Frederika, you think it's about money, but I'm tired, tired. I'm thirty .. I so miss the world', she said and she added suddenly, 'Oh Frederika, come with me to the city, as a friend, to see the shops, please!'
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They walked down the streets of the city. They walked deeper and deeper into the old world. The sun was strong now and after the long day, it seemed natural for the sun to beat down as the evening approached. Frederika followed her young mistress into a coffee shop where they sat down. Then Mrs Denby rose to go the counter and Frederika watched her young mistress talk to the woman there. She saw again her pale skin and her slender frame. There was something strange about her. Frederika felt so comfortable with her. Why did Mrs Denby accept her as a friend? Wasn’t she meant to be a maid? Still Mrs Denby was an actress, she knew that. She knew she spoke in a theatrical way and she knew still that Mrs Denby was not telling her anywhere near the truth!
Was she from these parts as well?, Frederika wondered. Outside the coffee house were the streets where she had wandered at one time almost in penury and desperation. But now she was with this young woman. For she didn't feel the woman as a mistress anymore and maybe this young mistress wanted Frederika to be a friend as well. Then as Frederika sat, a man saluted her. He was a coachman who worked in the area.
'You know this place?’, Mrs Denby asked, as she sat down,
'I know him', Frederika said softly and lazily.
Mrs Denby looked closely at her. Then she saw Frederika looking at her neck and clothes. For Frederika had suddenly thought of the necklace. It was time to steal it! But then she saw Mrs Denby looking directly at her. She looked quickly down at her tea as the young mistress looked outside.
Frederika didn't think it strange that they were in a coffee house on the edge of her old home area. For she knew this was a popular area but the sun made her mind heavy and as she glanced at her mistress, there was a panic and fear in her. It was the presence of Jackson. She felt his presence around the place. She must steal the necklace! She tried to look at her mistress' neck again but it was not there. Where was the necklace? Then Frederika remembered clearly Jackson asking her 'what are Madame's weaknesses'. Suddenly as this question came back to her, Mrs Denby spoke:
'I lived here in this area, Frederika, you know', then she added, 'You look tired, Frederika', And she was right for Frederique suddenly felt weak. Was it possible that this young woman, a mistress in the country, might know her, her friends or even Jackson in some way? This woman might know her!
'You say you live here also, Frederika? ', Mrs Denby asked. Suddenly the necklace, Jackson and the debt whirled through Frederika’s mind again.
'No I don't. I worked here once’, Frederika lied but the young mistress seemed to see through this.
'Yes'. Then Mrs Denby was quiet and looked directly at Frederika,
'But Frederika, you are like me, I worked here. I lived here. I seduced my husband here. In this world here, I seduced my husband and he loved it', she spoke as an actress but also as a girl of the city and Frederika noticed it. Then she added, 'He loved the seduction.'
Mrs Denby was open and candid like the girls Frederika knew, like herself and Frederika began to watch her mistress more closely. Maybe she was just meant to watch her. For she felt that Mrs Denby was giving a show! Well, she was an actress. Maybe it was a show, a piece of theatre!
'Yes, I seduced my husband, It's all about seduction', the other woman said as she looked steadily at Frederika to see how she was receiving these words. Mrs Denby, on her side, felt she had returned to-day to her old world with a girl that 'knew' her, a girl perhaps who had the same roots as her. Maybe she and Frederika were alike! She continued:
‘He was seduced and now he has tired of his seducer. Yes you've seen Henry. He's a cad, a lover, who likes being in love, like me in some way, yes like me', she stopped. She looked around the coffee house and it was almost empty and then she continued: ‘But I like acting. You know, acting and 'being in love' or whatever'.
Frederique watched her. Then the young mistress said suddenly:
'Are you tiring of me?', she waited for an answer as Frederika looked at her. Then she continued again:
'But Frederika, you must help me, you must' and she looked into Frederika’s eyes.
Frederika looked at her and waited for her mistress to continue. Then Mrs Denby looked away at the evening outside. For the day had turned to evening. Frederika felt suddenly that they were two women, two young women, one confiding in the other. Frederika watched the other closely and she tried to put the ruby necklace out of her mind.
Outside however, Frederika saw two young men and it made her aware again of this whole ruby necklace affair, the theft. It was a man's plan to replace this necklace! A plan born out of greed or revenge or something! She looked back at her mistress and in a strange way, wanted Mrs Denby to continue talking. Then Mrs Denby spoke,
'So what do you advise me?'
Frederique was quiet.
'Do you think I should divorce him?', she asked.
'No Ma'am', Frederique said clearly
Mrs Denby looked at her.
'Yes, you're right, Frederika', she said in a clear maybe sad way. 'But he has a lover and that is what I want to tell you. And when I look at this world outside.. I lived here Frederika, I did,’ she said. She stopped suddenly and then continued, ‘Yes divorce is not for me. Never. But what if the marriage is a mistake. I'm not meant for that world, that house', Frederika felt that to an outsider, the young Mrs Denby may not have been making sense but to her, Frederika, she was and she was beginning to like the woman. Mrs Denby had said she was from these parts. Maybe she was a girl of the streets who had found success and fortune through her husband. She had seduced her husband, she said also.
And Mrs Denby felt too that Frederika was listening closely to her. She knew that Frederika understood her. Then Mrs Denby said suddenly:
'Yes I will divorce him and that is why I want you to help me '.
'Help you, Ma’am?', Frederika said spontaneously.
'We'll get letters and all. I need evidence you know.'
'You mean...'
'No', the actress said clearly, 'I mean, no, no, I mean please help and support me, be my friend.. I have no friends and I need a friend. I saw you the first day and I knew and felt you were a city girl, or you had a heart , a real heart and now I know you're a city girl, and you just have to be my friend.'
'Yes Ma'am, I'll be your friend'.
Then Frederika added earnestly as Mrs Denby looked at her and seemed to wait for her to speak:
'I am your friend. After all this and all to-day I am your friend', Frederika said. And Mrs Denby caught her eyes and looked into them and saw too that Frederika was earnest.
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Later that night, Mrs Denby sat in the chair in her bedroom as Frederika stood above her. Mrs Denby had told her to come into the room. Suddenly Mrs Denby rose and opened a drawer.
'I want to show you something, Frederika', she said looking into the drawer and then she turned to the girl. Frederika looked at her hands. There it was, the ruby necklace! She stared at it and then she looked at the carpet quickly. She realized that Mrs Denby was looking at her.
'What's wrong?', the young mistress said.
'Nothing, nothing, Ma'am ', she said and then Frederika added quickly, 'but I don't know what to say'.
Mrs Denby looked directly at her and then turned away and put the necklace on the table.
'What is it, Frederika, tell me, what's wrong, what's wrong? ', she seemed to want to wring something out of Frederika. 'Oh she was a witch', Frederika felt as she closed her eyes.
'This surprises me', Frederique muttered.
'What surprises you, Frederika.? ' Mrs Denby asked. Then Mrs Denby began to speak:
'Oh this is what you dream about, is that it?', the young mistress suddenly became serious and puckered her brow. 'This is what girls like you dream of, is that it..is it this what you yearn for this and you crave it!'
The young mistress looked away and then spoke again quickly,
' Have you seen it before, is that it, is that it and you plan to steal it, you plan to steal it. You're a thief, is that it…?'
Frederique bowed her head and remained silent.
'Say something, what is it?', the young mistress said. Then Mrs Denby sat in her chair beside the dressing table and looked at Frederika who had her head bowed. Mrs Denby continued:
'Raise your head. You're not my friend, Frederika, you're not my friend because you treat me as your mistress’. Frederika listened but she didn’t know what Mrs Denby was saying. Then Mrs Denby continued,
‘I'm not your mistress. I'm your friend. I'm your friend and I know you. Yes you've never seen anything like it. That's it. This will pay for your new life, wherever that is. That's it, isn't it?', the young mistress said.
'Yes Ma'am, it is'. Suddenly Frederika glanced at Mrs Denby and was surprised. For amidst the screaming, she saw then a real working class girl. To Frederika, the young mistress began to look like a girl from the streets. Frederika watched her closely and was conscious also of the cold night outside.
'This necklace is mine, it is mine', Mrs Denby repeated and then she asked, 'Have you seen it?'
'I have heard of it, Ma'am', Frederika answered directly.
Then Mrs Denby was quiet. She looked at Frederika who was almost staring at the carpet.
'You look frail, my dear, pale, what is it?'
Then Frederika spoke:
'I have heard of it, Ma'am. I have heard of it'. Mrs Denby watched her then she decided to address Frederika in a soft way:
'Who told you about it?', she asked.
'Ma'am, I heard about it in talk; that is all', the girl answered.
The young mistress looked at and smiled. Then she said:
I suppose then my name is still mentioned in some parts. That's where you're from. That's where you heard isn't it', she said quickly.
She didn't wait for a reply as she turned around to the dresser and then turned back again.
'But Frederika, this necklace is mine. Yes you are a friend. We have talked together. You have talked with me. You have helped me through these nights but the necklace, well it is mine. It belongs to me. Not to my husband and my husband, well he will never have it! I seduced him for this, for this. It's all there is now! But you know, he will try and keep this', she said, as she looked at the necklace and signalling vaguely for Frederika to follow where she was looking. She continued:
'I worked hard for this' she said dreamily, ‘I worked hard. This is mine’. And then she said, 'Maybe all I have'.
They were silent. After a while, the young mistress spoke again.
'Well I seduced him’. She seemed to be emphasizing the seduction and Frederika asked automatically.
‘Why?’. The young mistress looked at her. She saw then that she could trust Frederika.
She continued, ‘Because I was told to by a man...he was a man who helped girls like me’.
Frederika looked directly at her and then away. Mrs Denby continued,
‘And he told me to seduce Henry because he knew he had this necklace and I did' ,she stopped suddenly, ‘but I fell in love.. you see.. and I saw this new life.. it was real and I didn't take this necklace from him.. it was my chance to be free and so I didn't… well.. that's it... ‘ Mrs Denby looked ahead of out and spoke in a final kind of way:
‘You know Frederika, I am not so far above you. Like you, I don't really have anything. If he divorces me, I have nothing. I have nothing', she said and then she sat in the chair
'But I know what to do, yes this necklace, this jewel is mine'.
Then it was quiet again and Frederika was conscious of the cold windy night outside.
'Now', the young mistress said, as she went over to Frederika, 'We are friends, you call me Teresa, come on, we were born in the same area, we have the same roots, maybe the same lovers, we are friends, now.. alright.. we have spent the day together...come on. Teresa it is'.
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The following morning, Teresa and Frederika stood together in the drawing room.
'Would you seduce my husband? ', Teresa asked in an offhand and innocent way, 'Frederika, I need the divorce'.
'Why? ', Frederika asked automatically although Teresa had just given the reason. 'Freddie', Teresa suddenly said, 'because I want to divorce him, I want a reason’.
'But he has a lover, does he not', Frederika said.
'Oh yes he has but I don't know her name' , Teresa said as she walked to the armchair and sat down.
Frederika looked at Teresa and wondered if she could talk about the necklace. They were friends now, Frederika felt, and she wanted to talk about the necklace. Then Frederika said suddenly:
'It's my debt, Teresa, I just want to pay my debt. I just want to be legitimate, law-abiding, you know', she said but Teresa misunderstood what she was saying. Teresa looked at her and said:
Of course, Frederika, no-one is asking you to do anything criminal. I just want you to seduce him, give me grounds for divorce. I thought you were my friend'.
'Teresa, I am your friend', Frederika said.
'Well if you seduced my husband, it's not a crime', Teresa said directly as she looked at the girl, 'I have confided in you but I see you are weak. I still want to help you! You are from the same background as me. You walked the same streets as me. I want to help you, really.’
'Teresa', Frederika said, 'You're the first person to say that.'
'Well then', Teresa added and she turned and looked out of the window.
Frederika stood at the fireplace and said suddenly,
'Why don't you stay with your husband? Look at the comfort here, everything'.
Teresa turned around again and moved to the edge of the armchair and seemed to ponder this:
'You're right perhaps. But I'm not in love with him. I don't love him’. Teresa stopped and then added: 'have I said too much?'
Frederika was quiet. She saw that Teresa didn’t expect an answer as she looked outside the window again. Frederika looked at her. After all Teresa had told her, she must tell Teresa about herself:
'I have a confession, Teresa, ' and she stopped. Teresa turned and looked at her. Frederika continued:
'I'm going to say it openly. I was told to work here by someone to steal your necklace.'
'Wait,,,you tell me this in the morning, when the sun is shining, when I think of love and a new life. I'm tired. I want to be in love and now you tell me this', then Teresa stopped and seemed to smile. She continued:
‘You were told to steal the necklace.. that is it?'
‘Yes’, Frederika said and Teresa sat quiet
‘But Teresa, I'm scared..I'm really scared’.
They were quiet as Teresa looked away.
'Please say something, Teresa’, Frederika said as she looked down at Teresa.
Teresa was quiet for a few seconds but then her response surprised Frederika.
'I'd ask you to leave you know but.. you have my secrets,’ she said suddenly.
‘Teresa, don't talk like that. Don't speak like that. You're like Jackson now but you're more than that, worth more than him’, Frederika seemed to plead.
‘Who, do you say?’
‘Jackson’, Frederika said softly. Teresa stopped but then she continued,
‘But this is absurd’. Teresa stopped again. Then she seemed to shout:
‘But you betrayed me, you betrayed me’. Then the other maid came in.
‘Is something wrong?’, the woman asked.
‘No, this girl has betrayed me…Mrs Nelson and I want her to leave’, Teresa said quickly.
Mrs Nelson looked at Frederika and then at Teresa and something seemed to click in her. She seemed to put the episode down to Teresa’s tempestuous and impetuous nature. For she didn't say anything.
Well, Mrs Nelson, well, well, you do not obey me’, Teresa began to say. ‘I am still your mistress. I am still the lady of the house. Oh this damned, damned house! Alright, go the both of you, leave me alone’.
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Just half an hour later, Teresa came to the kitchen,
I'd like to speak to Frederika, if you please’, she said affectedly to Mrs Nelson.
Come with me, Frederika’, she said when Frederika appeared. Then they walked to the garden. You could see the two women understood each other and their talk now continued on from their earlier conversation. Teresa said:
‘I don't know you really but know this! I am like you and I know you're in a predicament. I don't know why you have done this. Why have you taken up this man’s offer? You’re in debt I suppose’, Teresa asked, looking directly ahead of her.
Frederika said quietly:
‘Yes, I owe money to him’. Then Teresa continued:
Yes, but you see Frederika, I worked also for Jackson and I made friends and connections through him, Henry for example. Yes my husband! But Jackson, he asked me to steal that same damned jewel from Henry. The theft of the jewel, oh yes! and I seduced Henry but I befriended him and I fell in love. What can I say, we married.’
‘I don't understand you, Teresa’, Frederika said automatically.
‘I mean, Frederika, that I seduced my husband. It was because I actually began to love him. Really but Jackson thinks it’s because of money or something but I actually liked him then…we fell in love and then we saw I think that we weren‘t really suited for each other….but the necklace…. I didn't give the necklace to Jackson. I kept it but I stole other things. I mean how could I steal from a man I fell in love with. But I‘m telling you all this…I am so lonely..I was so lonely…you‘re the first person I really talked to, Freddie.’ She stopped. Then she said again:
‘It was all just a grand seduction that shouldn’t have ended in marriage. However now I find that I have the necklace and it is the only thing still of value and it is my life, my escape. Oh Frederika, that is why I become so excited. It is all I have. I am a street girl, an actress, that is all and all I have is the jewel and some money and I know you are the same’.
Then Teresa said:
‘And I know you are afraid, Freddie.’
‘I'm not afraid, Teresa' , Frederika said.
‘Well, pay off your debt and start again. I will help you', Teresa said. They continued to walk in the garden.
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In the winter sun of the morning, you seemed to speak into the air. Yes, words really had no meaning. They weren't spoken to the other person. They were spoken into the air and maybe that was good for Frederika because in her heart and soul, a mixture of fear and confusion was beginning to grip her. She didn't want to speak to Hopper who she used to live with. She was meeting Jackson again but as she walked into N lane, there was Hopper!
'But it's not like that', she tried to shout.
Then Hopper said: 'We can get back together, can't we?'
Frederika thought quickly: 'I don't know, maybe', she said as she looked away.
'Why can't we?’, he said quickly.
'Well, I've moved on. I work as a maid. I have debts to pay, thanks to you'. For when he ejected her from their flat, she had to rely essentially on Jackson. Then she added, 'You left me, did you not? '. However she said these latter words so strongly that Hopper misunderstood their intent.
'Wait, don't talk to me like that..in the morning. I'm tired. I've worked all night'
'I don't want to talk, alright', but he grabbed her. She looked down at her arm that he held and then he looked at her and let her go.
Then she walked further and there was Jackson waiting. She walked up to him. She had planned what she had to say to him. She would say that she didn't understand the true meaning of what she was doing i.e. stealing the necklace. There was no way she would steal the necklace now but still she would not tell Jackson about her friendship with Teresa. She wanted too to get out of the theft. She was afraid of Jackson and felt that despite her friendship with Teresa, she might still have to replace the necklace with a fake.
'Jackson, you never explained to me about all this. I might go to prison', she said.
'Freddie, you look frightened..my dear.. don't be frightened..' he said, looking at her face. Then she answered quickly,
'I am because you're making me a thief. You're making me a thief', she repeated again.
'But it's an honest theft, Freddie, if you know.. the necklace is mine. The mistress owes it to me and I've told you to get it back and that's that', he said directly. He said these words so strongly that Frederika didn't know what to say but the thought of 'theft' raced through her mind. She imagined herself being arrested for a theft. For she would probably be the likely culprit if a crime was reported.
'But sir, she must know the real from a fake’, she said suddenly.
Then Jackson put his hand in his pocket and put a necklace into her hand. She looked at it. To her, it was the same as the one she had seen in the Denbys. Then she began to feel week and in some way like a child as she listened to him.
'Oh you surprise me, sir’, she said, as she looked at it. He looked back at her and saw how childish she was. He had known her since she was a child, about fourteen. She had worked in the streets around here and above all the girl was a friend. He would never hurt her but he knew that Freddie was afraid of him.
'Freddie, you're a girl. I'm a friend. I help you. You need help. God knows where you'd be without me‘. Then he moved his hat in his hand and looked at her again and then away. Then he continued:
'I trust you, Freddie. I trust your instincts but whatever happens, don't come back to me. I gave you a chance to repay your debt. You took it and if anything goes wrong, don't come to me..This is the way the world is, Freddie. You think I've no responsibilities. I know the way you think. You think I've money and all but I earned this.. Freddie, you're a young girl'
Frederique listened to him and then looked closely at him as he looked away. She was aware that he in no way suspected her friendship with Teresa and that Teresa and her were now confidantes. She listened to him still because he was still like an older brother to her but she realized then that she would never steal the necklace. It was not possible!
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That night, Frederika came downstairs to the drawing room. She couldn't sleep. She sat in an armchair. She thought vaguely that she did owe Jackson something! Jackson knew her mother and had told her mother about the opportunity with the Denbys. He had also never mentioned to her mother the debt that she owed to him. This was because her mother wasn't interested anyway but maybe it was because he really wanted to help her. But her mother! She felt that her mother wanted her to be a success in some way. Maybe being a maid, her mother would be proud of her!
'And that's it', she thought, as she sat in the armchair and then suddenly before her was the ruby necklace, the image of the necklace. The necklace seemed to be 'everything', the answer to all her problems but was it really everything? She sat in the chair, 'I just want to pay off the debt and work earnestly and honestly, be legitimate, not go to prison'. She looked around her in the dark. She knew that she would not be disturbed. It was quiet but suddenly she was afraid. Girls like her could disappear off the streets. She knew Jackson would never hurt her anyway but it was this fear. She still had a fear that she couldn’t escape. She was still surprised by her friendship with Teresa and she didn’t know what to do. Maybe she should replace it the necklace with the fake. But if she was arrested…the law would not protect her. Yes it wouldn't protect her if she was arrested! She wouldn't be able to explain her situation to the court, she tried to think, but she could stay with Teresa as a maid and gradually pay off the debt.. stay here but the ruby necklace....Jackson would demand that she replace it..
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Frederika was looking out of the window of her bedroom. She saw the butcher woman pass the house. ‘This woman had probably forgotten about her or at least didn't really care about her now. But maybe ,if she knew about the necklace, she would take an interest, a real interest. Frederika continued to look outside. She had heard that Jackson was going to prison for a few months for living off immoral earnings. She looked down at the garden and then the trees. Her mind was numb.
She had known that she must make a decision about her life but now the imprisonment of Jackson seemed to change things. But this was her life! She let her mind wander. She thought first of Teresa and she suddenly realized how solitary and quiet the life of Teresa was. Maybe it was normal for Teresa to want to leave! Still maybe all lives were solitary!
She continued to look out of the window. What if the ruby necklace wasn't real anyway? Yes it was real, in some way; it had real value ; And what was it? Why didn't Teresa give the jewel to Jackson? She said she fell in love but was this the reason? But Frederika didn't really care now. She was tired and numbed, numbed mainly by the news about Jackson. She looked back into her room.
She felt stuck in this whole situation but she didn't care. She looked at the air outside. It was cold and frosty. 'It was cold, so cold’, she thought, ‘she shouldn't be here, she thought..she really shouldn't be here in the country,, although it was only an hour from the city. Maybe Jackson didn't really care about the necklace. Maybe he was doing this for some kind of revenge’. But as she thought about Jackson, she felt that this wasn't the case. He wasn't a vengeful type. ‘Maybe he was just doing it because….', and she looked out again outside and tried to concentrate on the sky.
She then fell on the bed. ‘Oh I wish I was married, really..like Teresa with the necklace maybe..I'd have a lover.. my husband could do as he pleases and then my lover..we’d get some money and we'd run away together..’, she seemed to dream but suddenly she rose. Something clicked in her. 'But she has a lover.. she must!'.
She continued to think to herself: Yes she had her debt to pay. If she could get the money,, it wasn't too much..but she still couldn't get the small amount together! She wished she was free, free, free. There was no real possibility of stealing the necklace or replacing it, she thought. Not now.
For Frederika had told Teresa about the fake necklace. She had decided to tell her everything. Jackson was in prison anyway!
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‘Are you going to the city to-day?’, Teresa asked Frederika in the drawing room
No', Frederika said softly. Then Teresa said,
‘Frederika, your'e distant to me. Now..are you thinking of leaving?’, Teresa asked looking at her.
‘Well I have no reason to be here, you know, Teresa.’
‘Why?’, Teresa asked leaning back against the mantle piece.
‘Well Jackson is in prison and well Teresa, there is no reason.’ Teresa seemed to let the news about Jackson pass her by. But then she asked quickly:
‘How long for?’
‘Three months’. Then Frederika asked suddenly
‘Teresa, why do you go to the city so much?’
‘Why do you ask, Frederika?’ They were both quiet.
Frederika looked directly at Teresa.
Tell me, you have a lover, that's right, isn't it.. well I'm going.. there's nothing to keep me here.. nothing', Teresa looked at the young woman speaking. She saw that Freddie was frightened about something. Teresa knew it was just the way Freddie was. It wasn’t just Jackson that Freddie was afraid of. It was this whole age, the city, her life, she was afraid of and Teresa herself felt fear too, she recognised it..Then Frederika continued,
'Teresa, Jackson is in prison and I'm really frightened. I have to go back.. I am not at home here. Please Teresa'. Teresa looked at her and seemed to understand her. She understood the girl's fears and maybe they were rational. Teresa however didn’t know what to say and Frederika saw this. In a way, the two women were beginning to have a strong empathy with each other.
Then Frederika said:
‘But you have a lover and you never told me'. Teresa looked at her and spoke suddenly:
‘Stop talking, Freddie’, Teresa shouted, ‘Yes I had a lover but it’s over but what's that to you.. he's an artist actually…’
Frederika looked away. Then she spoke:
‘Oh it doesn't matter about your lover but tell me, Teresa, I mean why am I here. I mean Jackson’s in prison. He'll be out in three months but why am I here.. I am not at home here. I want to go back’.
‘Oh you foolish girl’, Teresa shouted, ‘You ask why are you here..why are you here..is it the necklace? Is that it? You want the necklace'.
‘I don't want your stupid necklace', Frederika replied quickly.
‘But Frederika, you must,, you must.. Jackson wants it.'
Frederika was silent. Then she spoke:
‘Yes I want it. I want it. I want to be free of all this..it's bad.. it's wicked.. I didn't know about you and Jackson…all your games’.
‘What, what’, Teresa said, ‘You play games. You play games.. more than me.. You have the fake necklace. You only told me that a few days ago.. you never told me.. ..you never told me.. what do you not tell me.. ?', Teresa looked angrily at Frederika as latter sat down on a chair. Frederika looked tired and Teresa saw this. She waited for Frederika to speak.
‘Teresa, I don't want to play games but why am I here.. I don't know' , Frederika said.
Teresa looked closely at her and then sat down beside her:
‘Alright..it's 1885, the sun is shining..look outside.. you have no prospects.. I have none either ..I have a husband who doesn't talk to me.. a husband who I want to be free of and maybe he will divorce me or leave me.. because…’ Teresa stopped and then, ‘He knows my past,, Freddie .. yes he knows my past.. he has that.. and he doesn't speak to me because… Freddie….he knows my past'. She stopped and then continued, ‘Maybe he's sick of me but look oh Freddie, it's 1885 and the sun..look.. and you want to be free of all this.. because you have to pay your debt and you want to go back to the city because it's home..you want your life back,, Frederika.. is that it.. I don't care about the necklace.. I care about my life but when I think about it, it's all I have..the necklace.. it's my future and I'm trapped more than you are..I don't care about the necklace.. but I want to live again.. you know..’
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Later that day, after Frederika finished some work in the kitchen, she went to Teresa in her bedroom.
‘So it's all false, Teresa’, Frederika said as she turned to her’. Teresa did not look at the young woman sitting beside her. Then she said softly,
‘Put your head here’. Teresa meant her shoulder. Then she continued, ‘It's not false..it's illusory..but there are people stronger than us.. men... Henry..Jackson....they will get us..they don't care about us..we'll go back to the gutter.. yes that's it.'
Frederique listened as Teresa began to speak again:
‘But the necklace was everything..there was some money and some other jewellery but the necklace was like a symbol…..well no.. I fell in love with him, Henry.. I fell in love and that was real, not the necklace.... the seduction was real..but now.' Then Teresa turned to Frederika.
‘But what will we do, Frederika?’
Frederika looked ahead of her: 'I don't know.' Then Frederika said softly:
‘I can't stay here.. you know that.'
.You can't leave me, Freddie.’
‘Then I won't but why don't you run away. You own it?’, Frederika said.
Teresa was quiet. Then Frederika spoke again
‘I’ve told you I have the fake necklace. I’ve told you that. Teresa why don’t we replace the real one and run away’.
Then Teresa began to speak slowly and thoughtfully:
‘Yes you have the fake necklace. Yes that’s your job! Jackson wants you to replace the necklace and he’s in prison… well maybe you can.. I mean what’s stopping you.. I mean why don’t you tell Jackson that you’ve replaced the necklace when he gets out of prison, tell him that you’ve done your job….yes tell him’.
Then Teresa rose and walked to the dressing table and opened the drawer where the necklace was.
‘It’s a possession that people like me and Jackson and you Freddie dream about’, Teresa stopped and then spoke again,
‘Yes it's a real necklace but that's it’, she said authoritatively as Frederika watched her. She looked at Teresa and suddenly all that Frederika could see was a woman looking at a necklace, an image of a woman looking at a necklace. And that was all! Then Teresa continued:
‘To me, it's a new life but to Henry, its nothing, probably. To Jackson, it’s all greed, it's just his pride…I’ll never give it back to Jackson’. Then Teresa turned:
'You know, Freddie, Jackson’s making a fool of you, of me, both of us. You're in debt, Freddie but that's it and you've come here like a child. You are a child. You've come here looking to be free from your debt, hoping to be free. Oh I know what these ideas of freedom are!’
Then she turned again to the necklace as Frederika watched transfixed:
‘It's greed…revenge maybe, I don't know. But….’, then Teresa became serious and seemed to concentrate on the necklace. This necklace came into my life like you came into my life, Frederika…suddenly. But I was poor, like you, I had nothing. I fell in love. I mean Jackson asked me to seduce him, get some money, steal anything. Oh I was a vamp, a real vamp but I don't know what happened. I seduced Henry but he was so weak then. He liked me, I think he did. I was a girl from the streets who had nothing. I was in the theatre but I didn't really know this world of Jackson and Henry . I was too weak. I was weak because I didn't understand and how could I understand this world, this great middle class world of Henry and then… Jackson. I seduced him but Henry then seduced me and I saw possible freedom, a chance to succeed…and Henry liked me. I know he did and we fell in love.'
Then Teresa turned again and spoke to Frederika as if Frederika had asked her something or had reminded her of something:
‘Maybe you're right. Maybe it doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense..‘
Then as if in a dream, the front door banged.
'Who is it?', Teresa said as Frederika went to the banister and looked down. It was Henry and he walked in and closed the drawing room door behind him. Teresa was now standing behind her.
Frederika turned: and said quietly; 'Is he always like that?' Teresa answered softly:
‘Yes. The marriage is over’, she said quietly as she walked dreamily into her room again.
'Will you divorce? ', Frederika asked talking into Teresa’s back but Teresa didn't seem to hear this. And as Teresa didn't answer, the absurdity of the question dawned on Frederika. She realized suddenly how the fact of a loud door banging and Denby going into the drawing-room could change everything.
Frederika realized then that Teresa was like this! She was weak, so fragile and that's why she was in this situation! Teresa wasn't strong at all! Then Teresa turned and looked seriously at Frederika. She looked as if a secret had been uncovered and she didn't like it. Suddenly this young girl had encroached upon something secret.
'Will you run away? ', Frederika asked automatically.
Teresa answered: 'I can't because …I'm tired. What is the reason.. I mean.. why run away..?'
Frederique answered softly, To live'.
Teresa looked at the floor and then seemed to realize what Frederique was saying:
She said dreamily:
You're right. I can't talk to him anymore. I can’t’. Then Frederika said:
‘Let’s replace the necklace. I have the fake necklace’, then she stopped and then continued quickly, ‘Please Teresa, let’s replace the necklace and go’. Teresa looked at the carpet and spoke dreamily:
‘Yes you're right. I haven't seen my husband for ages and then he comes, enters and never speaks to me..I don't know what to say.’
Frederika held Teresa closely and spoke:
‘Please, please replace the necklace and leave, please please'. Teresa was quiet as Frederika repeated again:
‘But I want you to leave him, leave him, leave him, replace the necklace.and go.. come on! ‘ Teresa remained quiet. Frederika looked at her and pleaded, 'Say something’.
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The following morning Teresa and Frederika were in the garden together. The cold wind blew against them as they walked together.
‘What will I say to Jackson when he gets out of prison?’, Frederika asked.
‘Tell him you've paid off your debt. I'll give you the money. Tell him that Mrs Denby or Teresa, as he knows me, is going to leave her husband and that she intends to take the necklace with her. It's her right, tell him that!‘, then Teresa was quiet.
Then she spoke again:
‘This is the life I want, you know’, Teresa spoke softly as if speaking to herself , as if she didn't want Frederika to hear. 'Maybe ..I should leave here..it’s not a life,,is it..? But why should I go back to the streets….‘
Frederika stopped walking beside her and Teresa stopped and turned to her:
'The necklace is all I have, Freddie and I have a home here, some money, food. I've told you that Freddie. I was a girl like you, I got a chance..I'm going to keep this chance.. I'm not going back now..I can't and no Jackson is going to force me back. Nothing’.
They walked on:
‘And that's why I'm not going back’, Teresa said after a silence.
Frederika looked ahead of her. There was a bonfire crackling in the distance. For it was Winter, the time of bonfires.
‘But Teresa, 'I'm going back’, Frederika said.
Yes Freddie.. you go’
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Later Teresa came to Frederika's room:
'You want to go back..' , Teresa said as she stood in the doorway, ‘You want to go back..’, she repeated to Frederika who sat on her bed. The air was cold but the evening was beginning and Teresa watched Frederika closely. She looked around the room and noticed that Frederika was ready to leave.
Then she said:
'I seduced Henry but I never took the necklace and I'm not taking it now. It doesn't belong to me anyway, I feel it belongs to Jackson and his world and Henry,,, he's a ..I don‘t know…I think the reason he doesn’t like me is…that he looks down on me… I‘m not good enough for his world…I never see his friends…I don‘t know his life…and I have no life.. ..’
‘Then come with me, Teresa. Leave with me’, Frederika said.
‘Come with you? But you're a girl, Freddie’, Teresa stopped and continued, ‘This is what I dreamt of.. all this.’.
Then Frederika tried to mention Henry again but she didn't. Teresa looked closely at Frederika and she knew then she had to leave with her. Freddie saw that Teresa was tired as she said:
‘Yes I want to leave, Freddie.. I want to go back but I'm not going to take the necklace’.
‘Then don't, Teresa’, Frederika said..
‘I'm not taking it, Freddie and I don't want you to take it.. let's leave it Freddie and go back together please..'
Then Teresa continued:
‘Please, please then let's go, walk with me to the bonfire. No-one will miss me.. I'm a stranger here, always have been. They have never thought of me as the mistress you know…’., She looked again at Frederika and smiled.
Then Frederika said softly, ‘Thanks.. I am ready to go.'
‘Meet me then at the bonfire’.
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They looked into the flames building higher and higher. It was mainly young children there but still some adults, all captivated by the fire. Two men looked at the young women as they stood there but Teresa was staring at the fire, with her large bag on the grass beside her.
The fire was all around them. Then Frederique felt Teresa putting something into her hand. It was the money notes for the debt. Frederika tried to say thanks but the noise and crackling drowned her words. She tried to say the words louder but the fire, the shouting, all seemed to increase in intensity. Teresa looked ahead.
Suddenly Teresa said:
'I've had enough'. She turned to Frederika and seemed to shout:.
‘This fire has made me stronger..I'm not going back to Henry, that house, it’s over..the old world..the streets, the theatre.. that's where I belong.. that's it. I think,’ she stopped. She couldn't speak and Frederika noticed that she seemed to be crying but this was natural. She saw Teresa looking into the fire, looking lost, broken.
Then Teresa began to walk around the fire in the direction of the men but she didn't see them. The men watched her and seemed struck and surprised by the sight of the woman, so sad and lost. Frederika watched her too. Teresa's decision was harder than hers and she knew that she should leave Teresa on her own. Then Frederika said softly to Teresa:
'I know a place we can stay in’.
Teresa smiled now and looked at Frederika.
‘Come on’, Teresa said, ‘We'll take the train now’.
However Teresa continued to look into the fire. Then she spoke again:
‘We'll go now , the train will be arriving soon’.
END
Monday, April 27, 2009
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